Time – and how i wish it was.
All I can think about is; time.
The tight lack thereof, and the vastness and longevity of every second I have lived on this planet. Time stretches us out; makes us thin and loose as though we were each a rubber band strung together in a bouncy ball. Why does this world hurry along like it does?
There are so many things I don’t want to wait for that would be benefited by a prolonged ‘wait’ – but if only I could wait. On the other hand, there are other things that I wish wouldn’t come so amazingly fast. Part of me wants to simply sit back and focus on this very second, this short blip in the entire history of creation. Where is everyone going … What are we all doing … Why does it seem that even though we have plans for our life we still seem to be wondering around aimlessly after things that will fade before our fingertips can grasp hold of them … we’re waiting for things … any things … we don’t know what things, but yet these things remain to be things we try to control …
How far we have come, yet how little progress we have made. Our eyes are growing tired from trying to solve a puzzle we cut out ourselves, and yet all the while we preoccupy ourselves with tedious activities to pass the time; to keep us busy.
I’m going to create a new trend tomorrow. I’m going to take some photographs that people will look at in twenty years time only to see that I am vain. I will be remembered as conceited and selfish. Everyone on this planet is conceited. This world is wrapped in an invisible bubble of crap. Earth looks pretty, but you can’t judge a book by its cover. Just because this world has beautiful mountains and rivers doesn’t mean it is as it is meant to be – it remains a snotty, rancid, rotten, oozing load of crap. The inhabitants make it what it is.
Whatever. Whatever. I just wish that everything was ok with everything else, and that there was no haze about who you are or what you could be.
We have so little time on this planet. How many people have come and gone over time. How many people have stood in the exact position and location I’m standing in now. Why do I think it’s important that I’m alive? Every thought has been thought before. I want more time here so I can think of something new that no-one has ever dreamed of. I need to feel like I’ve contributed something. Even the person that loves me the most will die and fade. This world is not important – it’s the next that counts.
I guess it comes down to this. This planet will never remember anyone forever. No-one’s name is timeless – everything fades. It doesn’t matter if you discover the cure cancer, over time the cure will become as common as going to the medicine box and taking a Codral. You’ll come down with a bad case of cancer, and with a week’s rest, healthy eating and a few tablets, you’ll be all better. No-one will ever remember you. I mean, people used to die from the common cold, but who the hell remembers who invented Dimatap!?
So why the hell are we here? The only person that will ever remember my name is God. When that day comes, he will remember me, and he will stand there next to me. He’s got my back.
In our tiny blip of existence; in the tiny fleck of time we are here on earth, what the hell am I going to do that counts for anything. Could I write a song that will be remembered forever? Nup. One day there will be an ice-age and everything will be destroyed anyway. You can do nothing – nothing is humanly possible in the world. Nothing. If God is the only person who will always remember someone, and always care about them, then the only thing that matters to me is keeping him happy – for all of our sakes. I am flattered and honoured that he will remember me. I know this. This is for real.